Intro To My Latest Roommates

I need to emphasize that I'm only on the short end of the tally because you can;t possibly assign points to my temporary roommates, Rob and Katherine. Katherine is technically a fellow couch surfer, but she has been there long enough to be more of a co-host by now. Some things you should know about Rob and Katherine...

Rob:

*He goes by "Bob" on Couch Surfing out of consideration for people groups who can't pronounce the letter 'R' (he spent some time in Japan). Have you ever encountered such selfless altruism? I doubt it.

*The man is passionate about cruise control. Rob lives for every moment when the car hits 37 km/hr, the minimum velocity for his cruise control to kick in. He uses cruise control in town, feeling no remorse for the drivers stuck behind him because "they'll have to slow down for the next round-about anyway."

*Rob asked for some of my RPM music. No one has ever done this before. I made him a playlist of some of my favorites---don't tell Les Mills. He returned the favor by giving me a bunch of New Zealand music.

*Bubble baths. Think bubble baths are unmanly? I did...until Rob showed me a better way. You've heard it said that "cleanliness is next to godliness." But I tell you the truth---in a bubble bath, the two are indistinguishable. I now understand why Rob is such a bastion of beauty and serenity.

Katherine:

*Zumba queen. My first encounter with Katherine was when she stormed into the house, pronounced her just-completed Zumba "workout" thoroughly ineffective, and immediately left to go on a run. It took a mere three sessions for her to attain Zumba mastery. It is no longer a challenge. Zumba has nothing to offer her.

*She wears a wrist brace, just to contain her awesomeness.

*Katherine is a fishetarian. I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. Katherine doesn't actually think fish are vegetables, as many confused souls do. No, show this girl a tuna and a tomato, a prawn and a pumpkin, a salmon and a salad, and she'll accurately identify them every time with most of her eyes closed. In truth, she simply doesn;t believe fish are made out of meat. Don't knock it, she may be on to something here. Remember when everyone thought mushrooms were plants? But science marches on, and next thing you know we've got our hands full with the Fungi kingdom.

*Katherine cooks up the best sliced butter you've ever had.

*FLUFFY!